Shoulds To Musts

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*Originally written for the February 2013 issue of "The Source"*

"Everything in your life is a reflection of your musts." -- Tony Robbins

How do you get the car you want?  How do you get the house you want?  How do you create financial freedom for yourself?  How do you improve your relationships with loved ones?  How do you get your health and wellness in order?  How do you start living a happier life?

You turn your shoulds into musts.

This very powerful concept was first introduced to me by Tony Robbins.  Essentially, he says that everything in your life--your health, relationships, financial situation, happiness, etc.--is a reflection of your musts.  What you have chosen that you must have or do compared to what you have chosen you should do.  He says that every single one of us is making as much money as we must make and not a dime more.  Every single one of us has the health and physique that we must have.  Every single one of us is as happy as we feel we must be in order to survive.

Unless we raise our standards and take what we currently believe are actions that we should perform in order to achieve goals that we want to reach and make them actions that we must take in order to achieve goals that we need to reach, those goals will not ever get accomplished.

I have these types of conversations a lot with people who can’t seem to find the time or money to do what they want to do.  As I have said in the past, it comes down to priorities, plain and simple.  How highly do you prioritize your health?  How highly do you prioritize your financial freedom?  How highly do you prioritize your happiness?

Most importantly, how do your actions reflect your alleged priorities?

It seems crazy that any one of us would not want to be healthier, happier, or more prosperous, but do your actions actually reflect that?  You can say you want to do something, but at the end of the day what did you do to actually do it?

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When it comes down to it, our actions fully represent our priorities.  Regardless of what we say or how we think we feel about things, we put our time and effort into the areas of our lives in which we want to make the most progress or the areas we value the most.

Step back for a moment and analyze your life.  Where are you putting most of your time and energy?  Block out your week if you have to and figure out how many hours you spend doing the things you do.  After that figure out how much of your energy and focus each of these things demands of you.  Now, the important question to ask when reviewing this data is, “Why are you putting the majority of your time and energy into these endeavors?”  In fact, this question is going to be how you figure out what your true priorities are.

If you find that, for example, you are spending the vast majority of your time and energy at work, you could sit back and wonder why you don’t have more money or why your career isn’t further along.  But, if you are honest with yourself and you answer the question, “Why?” with, “Because I want to be able to pay my bills and I want to go out and have a good time with my friends,” then you have your true answer right there.  You don’t truly prioritize making more money.  You prioritize having enough money to get by and have fun.  You don’t truly prioritize advancing your career.  You prioritize being stable enough in your career to allow you to pay your bills and have a good time with your friends when you want.

And that is completely fine.  Absolutely, completely fine.  But understand that it is fundamentally different than spending the majority of your time and energy at work to actually make more money and advance your career.  This is just one example and I think you can really dig into all areas of your life like this and figure out what is actually driving you to take the actions you take.

This year is a big action year for me.  I am really hyped and in the right mindset to DO some big things.  As busy as I was in 2012, I have HUGE plans and a jam-packed schedule for 2013, so much so that I am already starting to plan for what I am going to do in 2014 because I’m not going to be able to fit it all in this year (there just aren’t enough weekends in a calendar year!).  A lot of things I have thought about doing or wanted to do in the past, this is the year they are going to happen.  This is the year I am going to take the necessary steps to get them done.

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And this is the year you can, too.

Without being too cliche I want wrap this up by saying this moment right here is all you are guaranteed.  It is all you know you will ever have.  So if you cannot take this moment right here and use it to take steps towards accomplishing what you want to accomplish or living the life you want to live, then those things are not of high enough priority for you yet.  You are banking that what is not guaranteed will, in fact, happen.

But let me tell you, when you absolutely have to get something done, you don’t bank on the uncertain.  You see to it yourself that it gets done by doing something about it this very moment.

And until you can do that, until you can take that one should and turn it into a must by raising your standards and expectations and not accepting your current state as good enough any longer... all of the ideas in your head... are just going to stay ideas in your head.

Right now, what is one “should” that you are going to turn into a “must”?

Be great, my friends.

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